Joke of The Day

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Joke of The Day

Post by matasura on Sat Jan 02, 2010 8:12 am

* MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview….
“Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?”
Muthu replied: “P-O-S-T-B-O-X.”
*****

* MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, “Do I look
like a foreigner?”
Wife: “No! Why?”
Muthu: “In London, a lady asked me, ‘Are you a foreigner?’…that’s
why.”
Wife: ?????????
*****

*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his
village…and Muthu said .. “No sir, only babies were born here.”
*****

*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg
and told it to “WALK! WALK!” The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off its second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same. Finally, he cut off its
fourth leg and ordered it walk! But the cockroach didn’t walk. Suddenly,
Muthu said loudly, “I found it. If we cut a cockroach’s four legs, it
becomes deaf.”
*****

*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was traveling with his wife in a motorized tricycle, the
driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, “You are trying to see my wife, eh?
Sit in the back. I will drive.”
*****

* MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin. Seeing this,
the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the signboard
“*WASH BASIN* ”
*****

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER – FINAL PART*
Interviewer: “Just imagine you’re in the 20th floor of a building and
it’s on fire. How will you escape?”
Muthu: “It’s simple.. I will just stop my imagination.”
*****

At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why ????????????
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read “*PRESS*” pinned on
the right part of her blouse walked past him… and he did it!
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Joke of the Day #2

Post by Solah on Tue Jan 12, 2010 4:36 pm

Subject: An awesome reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan to a pretty girl seeking
a rich husband

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.
I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to
marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered
only as middle class in New York .
My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an
income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?
I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems
that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west
of New York City Garden ( ? ) , $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and
addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few
girls who don't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to
marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your
girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

An awesome reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls
out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to
analyse your situation as a professional investor.
My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I
hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.
From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry
you.

The answer is very simple, so let me explain.
Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of
"beauty" and "money" : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for
it, fair and square.
However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my
money will not be gone without any good reason.
The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be
prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am
an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just
normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only
asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.
By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating
with you is also a "trading position".
If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to
keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It
might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any
assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".
Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date
you, but will not marry you.
I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.
And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with
$500k annual income.
This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do
contact me.

signed,
J.P. Morgan CEO
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Re: Joke of The Day

Post by matasura on Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:19 pm

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